The importance of friendship and relationships in our lives is well-documented, highlighted by everything from news coverage to Instagram quotes and scientific studies. The benefits of social connection are clear, yet many Americans report having far fewer close friends than they did three decades ago. According to the Survey Center on American Life, only 13% of U.S. adults report having ten or more close friends today, compared with 33% in 1990.

This friendship decline can be attributed to various factors, including the erosion of traditional social structures like religious institutions, increased geographic mobility, and a host of other societal changes. Despite these challenges, the power of in-person connection is increasingly recognized, and many are taking proactive steps to cultivate deeper relationships.

A recent survey by the Social Health platform, Meeno, underscores the growing recognition of friendships as a cornerstone of a fulfilling life. The survey found that friends and marriage are considered the most important elements for a fulfilling life, with 50% of respondents expressing satisfaction with the quality of their friendships. Interestingly, the desire to improve relationships with friends (34%) ranked higher than the desire to improve relationships with loved ones and colleagues!

The Challenges of Adult Friendship

Despite the recognized importance of friendship, adults often struggle to maintain them. The Meeno survey highlights that many friendships dissolve due to conflict or lack of time spent together, with 74% of people reporting they drift apart when life circumstances change, such as getting a serious partner or having a child. Similarly, 60% agree that friendships tend to fade when a friend moves far away or abroad.

However, the survey also offers a silver lining: over half of the respondents are willing to reconcile after conflicts, and 70% do not give up on a friendship after being disappointed by a friend. This resilience highlights the value Americans place on their friendships and their willingness to work through challenges.

Four Secrets to Adult Friendship Success

Struggling to make friends in adulthood? Too busy to keep up your social circle? A bond that needs repairing with a buddy? 

Here are a few tips for maintaining healthy friendships:

1. Small efforts have massive impact

As life becomes busier, friendships can easily fade. However, maintaining these connections often requires only small gestures. Sending a quick message or sharing a photo that brings back fond memories can go a long way in keeping the relationship alive. These simple actions take little time but can significantly strengthen your bonds. Life changes are inevitable, but they don’t have to mean the end of a friendship. Proactively maintaining connections, even during busy or challenging times, can make a significant difference

2. Assume everyone likes you

Approaching new social situations with openness and positivity can transform how others perceive you. Believing in your own likability encourages others to respond warmly, fostering new connections.  Conversely, expecting rejection can lead to more guarded behavior, which might not be as well received. Embrace the idea that everyone is open to new friendships, and make the effort to reach out.

3. Conflict is good!

Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, including friendships. They provide opportunities to deepen your connection if handled constructively. Using empathy and effective communication, conflicts can be resolved in ways that strengthen the relationship. If this seems daunting, tools like Meeno offer guidance on managing these tough conversations and navigating the complexities of friendships.

4. Technology can help you stay connected

While technology shouldn’t replace real-life interactions, it can enhance them. Various digital tools, including apps for relationship advice like Meeno, can act as simulators to help you practice and improve your social skills. These tools can provide valuable insights and strategies for building and maintaining friendships, helping to ensure your relationships are healthy and long-lasting.

Methodology: In July 2024, we surveyed 300 American adults about their relationships, using Prolific. Respondents ranged in age from 18 to 82 years old and were from 42 different states.